You will need
Fine dry dirt
Glue on wobble eyes
Permanent markers - assorted colours
Inflate a balloon to stretch the latex, then deflate it again before filling.
Insert the kitchen funnel into the neck of the balloon and slowly pour in the fine dry dirt using a spoon. Fill the balloon with as much dirt as you can.
Tie a knot in the neck of the balloon.
Mold the balloon to make it into a funny face by pushing your fingers into the balloon. Glue on the wobble eyes and draw on lips, a nose, eyelashes, hair, eyebrows and glasses with the permanent markers.
Safety warnings: Ensure children do not play with dirt that may have been contaminated by animals. Ensure that children do not put dirt or dirty hands in their mouths. Potting mix is dangerous as it contains a potentially harmful bacteria, do not use. Ensure any cuts are covered. Wash hands afterwards.